I've been thinking about this idea of child-centered vs. marriage/parent-centered. It seems to me like there is this real fear of becoming child-centered especially within the Christian culture. I've heard about the importance of me time and husband time at the expense of children. Now I'm not saying that those things aren't important and frankly, I don't want to be child-centered. I guess I just think that it's equally dangerous to be marriage-centered. I've seen how that dynamic is so hurtful to children. I believe that it teaches children that they have to guard their self interests at all costs. Well, that's what Mommy and Daddy do, right?
So here's what we are striving for - being family-centered. I explained it to my 5 yo ds yesterday like this. We are all part of a family and that means that we do our best to make sure everyone gets what they want. Sometimes though it's not possible and sometimes (like when your sister is hurt) I have to take care of her and you won't be able to get your ice cream. Sometimes we do what you want, sometimes we have to take care of your sister or brother or daddy or me. But, that's ok, because that's what's great about a family. We take care of each other.