Saturday, December 20, 2008

Not Feeling Grateful

I've been feeling a bit like this snowman...pathetic. I mean, come on, my boys are barefoot. (They really shouldn't have been. It was still pretty cold even though the snow was melting.) There is so much to be grateful for each day. I have amazing people around me. Yesterday, we had a great time laughing with all of our (the kids and my) friends at playgroup. We were given some great hand-me-downs for C and A. The kids played for hours while the mamas chatted and laughed. Totally fun and normal. Today both of my neighbors offered help. One took me to coffee since I told her I was trying to give up caffeine because water was a heck of a lot cheaper to drink. She took pity on me and got me a latte. The other neighbor has insisted on buying the kids some Christmas presents and made me promise to tell them they're from Santa. We don't need any Christmas gifts for the kids. We were already planning on trying to keep it small this year. We even decided against the big present we had thought we might get for them (think cool gaming system). We wanted them to have a part in earning the money to buy it. But this incredible neighbor would not take "no" for an answer. Really, can I have better people around me? I am so incredibly blessed. And yet I'm struggling with being hopeful. I'm frustrated that I don't seem to have real skills to jump back into the job market. I have skills and experience but it's been 8 years since I really did anything. I would rather stay home and homeschool my kids. I feel like that's the calling on my life right now. And yet, I hate to sit by and watch my husband bear all the burden of our financial security. Maybe I just hate not having any control? That's probably most of it. Or maybe I'm just grumpy from trying to cut back on the caffeine. ;) These posts are really helping me look for the good in each day though. That's something to be grateful for...

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