Friday, June 03, 2011

Dear 39,

Ate half a doughnut...what a treat!

I had a great first day, 39. We had treats, my favorite dinner, new shoes and a trip to the library. I had lots of birthday wishes that made me feel very loved. It was my kind of perfect day.

I really have high hopes for you, 39. You see there were several doctors that thought I wouldn't make it to 39. They told my family to say goodbye...even my young kids. I don't remember that part because I was pretty out of it, but it was traumatic for the whole family. And now, here I am celebrating another year. Is it selfish to hope that 39 is better than 38? You know that 38 was not that kind to me with all the medical issues. I mean I'm incredibly grateful for my beautiful family, my kids and husband. I'm especially grateful for the birth of my sweet baby. I'm so thankful for her health and her happy demeanor. But, seriously, it was the day after 38 came into my life that all of my medical issues started - my first trip to the hospital. And those hospital trips just kept coming and the stays got longer each time.

I still have healing to do, but I feel so much stronger than a few months ago. I'm home being "mom" again. That's really all I want out of life. It seems so silly. I was so ambitious when I was younger - fancy college, fancy job. Now? The fanciest job I could ever ask for is at home with my kids.

Library Trip

I really wish I could see into the future. I really want to see if I'll get a different kind of year this year. I want a year of good health, peace and maybe even some room for me to get a little entrepreneurial. I don't want to worry about pain and sickness. I want to focus on wellness.

So 39, I'm counting on you taking me out of my thirties on a high note. I want to be able to look back at 38 and say that it was incredibly difficult but we made it through. 39, I want you to be the year that I can look back on and smile. I really like smiling. :)

Sincerely yours,



Hosanna said...

Glad your day was special! You are an amazing mama and wife~

Cindy said...

Here's to a 39 we can all smile back on! Great post Cari! I just know you are going to have a wonderful year!!! xoxox and I'm hoping that before 39 is over for you, I am your in-person friend again! LOL

Tammy Haarlow said...

Cari, my 2009 was similar to your "38" and I understand your feelings. Funny how life can change in a heartbeat! We say that "if we don't have our health we have nothing" but until you experience illness at that level it is impossible to truly understand! My family has prayed fervently for you during this last year even though we only just met recently through homeschooling. I ached for all you were going through physically and emotionally while I know my family prayed for your loved ones as they remembered what it was like to watch me suffer and struggle. I am praying for your "39"; that God will grant you good health, peace, comfort and many, many, many years of happiness with your beautiful children! Many blessings!!